Sunday, February 16, 2014

If Costco is out of sushi tomorrow I’ll have to kill myself.

In this post: Sam returns, an Olympics rant.

Yay, everybody ... Sam will be home today from his trip to California! Life around here absolutely STINKS without him, so to celebrate his homecoming I made a big pitcher of lemonade and wrote out a shopping list for his Monday morning junket to Costco. If that’s not love, what is? I’m supposed to call him at 7:30 (Pacific time) to wake him up because he doesn’t have an alarm clock and his sister and brother-in-law (i.e., Tammy and Bob) are picking him up at 8 to go to the airport. Sam’s flight will land in Dallas at 4:15 this afternoon. An instructional illustration of a happy Sam and an airplane flying to Texas appear below for your possible interest.

I ought to mention that I’m REALLY REALLY TIRED right now and desperately want to go back to bed. I got up around 6:15 for my middle-of-the-night senior citizen bathroom adventure but decided to stay awake because I was afraid I’d oversleep and forget to call Sam. So I’ll just sit here like a zombie and drive you crazy for another two hours.

Also, in case you care, tomorrow’s Costco shopping list will include Brownie Brittle, our favorite pistachios, teeny chipotle chicken tacos, breakfast burritos, sushi, frozen shrimp, blackberries and a dozen muffins. (If they’re out of sushi again I’ll have to kill myself.)

I don’t have any real Winter Olympics news to report this morning except to complain, once again, that most of the American athletes are turning out to be totally atrocious. WE’RE NOT WINNING ANYTHING. The U.S. hasn’t nailed any expected medals in speed skating, short track, alpine skiing, leaping off mountains, those stupid snowboard events, luge, cross-country, biathlon or figure skating. I’ve never seen such a bunch of over-hyped incompetent you-know-whats in my entire life, most of them blaming everything but themselves. It’s always “the snow,” “the weather,” “slow ice,” “bad ski wax,” or “the zippers on our new spandex suits.” WHAT A WASTE OF TIME AND MONEY. I’M SO AGGRAVATED I COULD SCREAM. (Thank you very much for letting me vent.)

Have a nice day, okay? I’m having leftover egg foo young for breakfast.

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