Friday, February 7, 2014

Winter stinks, it isn’t pretty and we’re freezing to death.

In this post: Ice, 2014 Olympics. 

In my Olympics coverage earlier today I neglected to include my comments about the Canadian figure skating pair, Meagan Duhamel and Eric Radford, who finished in second place and were absolutely outstanding, graceful like a couple of gazelles and far better-looking than the snotnosed Russians who were dressed for Halloween and finished in first. Unfortunately, when I wrote my last post I had a hard time nailing down any information about the Canadians because NBC’s stupid remodeled website is so damn lame I couldn’t find Olympics news, competition results or photos … and NBC is broadcasting the Games! So here they are at last — Duhamel and Radford — another team whose height difference is almost as comical as the Americans Castelli and Shnapir, except the Canadians are much better skaters. I wish to hell the judges would call me once in a while. I HAVE A LOT OF IMPORTANT OPINIONS.
Sleet has been falling here since 2:30 this afternoon. In case you need assistance with basic winter precipitation terminology, sleet is like snow that winds up on surfaces as frozen water rather than fluffy white crap you can shovel, so as a result we’ve got a layer of ice all over the patio, icicles hanging from our arbor and probably ice here and there all over town. And because the temperature is only 32° yesterday’s snow is still underneath all of it. WINTER STINKS, IT ISN’T PRETTY AND WE’RE FREEZING TO DEATH. Please email some warm weather as soon as possible. Thank you. I’m going to take a shower now that’s hot enough to melt my hair.

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