I’ve got a complete home medical center. I probably qualify as a service provider under Obamacare.

In this post: Shopping addendum, medical supplies, early voting, Einsteins.

Yo. Here’s a brief but interesting Wal-Mart shopping update to the Wal-Mart shopping update in my last post. I just ordered one more set of the same really nice wrinkle-free 500-thread-count king-size sheets, this time in ivory, plus four boxes of individually-wrapped alcohol wipey things and — glorioski! — I finally remembered to try Wal-Mart’s store brand quart- and gallon-size kitchen storage bags.

Wondering about those alcohol wipey things? I use them every time I test my blood sugar or inject insulin, which probably rounds out to about 10 wipeys a day, give or take a wipey here and there. I’ve also got a complete home medical center in the study that includes cartons of insulin syringes, insulin pen needles, alcohol pads, diabetic foot cream, a one-gallon biohazard container for used injection paraphernalia, blood sugar testing devices, a box of 250 finger-stabbing lancets, two digital thermometers and a blood pressure monitor that stopped working in 2010. I probably qualify as a service provider under Obamacare.

Early voting is underway here in Texas as a run-up to the primary election on March 4. Sam and I will vote tomorrow morning at the Lakeside Senior Center here in Mesquite. The map below indicates: A) Howdygram headquarters; B) the Lakeside Senior Center on Holley Park Drive; and C) a new Chinese buffet at Tripp and Galloway where Sam flatly refuses to eat, citing an ongoing irrational fear of ptomaine poisoning.

Incidentally, Sam got booted from jury duty early today and has enjoyed hanging out with me at home for the last few hours. So his day wouldn’t be a total loss he assembled the garden cart we ordered last week from Amazon (breaking news: he says a bolt is missing) and watched me take a nap in the family room. Life is really good.

And finally, the Howdygram would like to present its latest Einstein Award to the frightening, bigoted Christians of Arizona for proposing their intensely divisive “Turn Away the Gays” bill. My question is, why stop with gays? Why not allow good Christian Arizona businesses to refuse to serve anybody? Why not Jews? Mexicans? Blacks? Single mothers? Divorcees? Godless women who use birth control? Ex-convicts? Short men? Fat people? Exotic dancers? This was a vile bill and another stupid waste of the taxpayers’ time and money, because even if Governor Brewer had signed the legislation (and she probably would have, if there hadn’t been such a huge national backlash) everybody knows the Supreme Court would have thrown it out. Here’s an idea: IF YOU DON’T SUPPORT GAY MARRIAGE, DON’T MARRY A GAY.

Pictured below alongside Governor Brewer is Judson Phillips, president of the lunatic fringe Tea Party Nation, who’s having a brain hemorrhage that Arizona’s anti-gay bill wasn’t signed into law because now devout Christian bakers will be forced at knifepoint to make penis-shaped wedding cakes and religious wedding photographers will have to stand by helplessly shooting videos of naked homosexuals having abominable sex. This pathetic, delusional devil sincerely believes that gay couples who spend money on wedding receptions for 250 guests with a caterer, a videographer, a D.J., relatives and grandparents and co-workers will include graphic desserts in the shape of gigantic genitalia and naked orgies as part of the festivities. HOLY MOTHER OF CRAP.

This is really way too much crazy horseshit for one day. Thank you for understanding if I leave the room now.