With any luck Sam will be picked for a nice juicy jury and get to hang somebody.

In this post: Mealtime adventures, coming events.

Good morning, people. It’s a few minutes past 6 a.m. and I’m wide awake for no important reason whatsoever except that my hands are killing me — diabetic peripheral neuropathy, as usual — so I thought I’d screw around with the Howdygram until the pain stops. This might take a while so maybe you’d like to grab a cup of coffee. Go ahead, I’ll wait.

I have an an addendum to the Putz of the Week story in last night’s post. You know, the one about Tink Nathan, the pro-life roadkill candidate who’s running for a seat in the Texas state senate. Never one to miss an entrepreneurial opportunity, I’ve decided to market the following line of gourmet condensed soups in case Tink wins the November election and manages to pass his signature legislation making it legal to retrieve and eat roadkill here in the Lone Star State.

There’s a lot of exciting crap happening this week at Howdygram headquarters, itemized below for your possible interest.

HOME IMPROVEMENTS. We’re probably going to need a new water heater so Sam has started to research a replacement. (The one we have now is a Bradford White. It came with the house.) I left a message for our plumbing guy so we can set up a service call. Oh boy, right?

CIVIC RESPONSIBILITY. Sam has to report for jury duty on Thursday. He’s definitely looking forward this because he’s a model citizen who appreciates every possible chance to not go to work. With any luck he’ll be picked for a nice juicy jury and get to hang somebody.

FAMILY ENTERTAINMENT. The new season of “Dallas” starts Monday night on TNT so check your local listings. (Spoiler: J.R. died last year for real.) Also, you might want to record or watch the following excellent movies coming up tomorrow on TCM: The Adventures of Robin Hood (1938) starring Errol Flynn with a cast of thousands and You Can’t Take It with You (1938) starring Jean Arthur and James Stewart. These are both big favorites in our house.

I think I’d like to take a nap now. Shut the light on your way out, okay?