Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Pink liquid makes me happy.

In this post: Fevers, weather, pickled cauliflower.

Hello from Feverland, a new subdivision for sick bloggers here at Howdygram headquarters. I’ve been declining steadily since mid-afternoon yesterday but still can’t figure out exactly what I’ve “got” aside from a temperature, body aches and intense chills that come and go. For now I’m here in the study drinking a 32-oz. glass of Crystal Light lemonade mixed with sugar-free Hawaiian Punch (don’t ask) because pink liquid makes me happy.

We had a 90-second thundershower a few hours ago that included two rumbles of thunder (Sam heard them; I didn’t) followed by one-hundredth of an inch of rain. ONE STINKING HUNDREDTH. I wonder if our drought is over.

In case you give a crap about our weather here in the Dallas metro area (seriously, why would you?) here’s our current five-day forecast according to the lying sacks of poo at Weather.com. I have zero confidence that we’ll ever see a thunderstorm on Sunday, but what the hell ... we’re used to being deceived.
Before I go back to bed because I really don’t feel so good I want to announce today’s delivery from my buddies at Amazon. It’s a six-pack of Mezzetta Italian Mix Giardiniera, a glorious spicy veggiefest of pickled cauliflower, teeny onions, assorted peppers and mystery things. This giardiniera is THE BEST and an ideal side dish with grilled cheese or braunschweiger. Also omelets. Or you can just eat right out of the jar with a really long fork.
Thank you for reading this.

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