I just discovered the Vienna Beef website.

In this post: Another weather failure, a hot & spicy life.

I woke up half an hour ago for my middle-of-the-night senior citizen bathroom adventure — also hoping to enjoy some expected thunderstorms — but once again the lying sacks of poo at Weather.com missed their forecast by miles. And hours. The storms that were supposed to be rolling through here as I write this post have been shoved back to around 10 a.m., but I sure wouldn’t bet the ranch on it.

Since I’m not ready to go back to bed yet I’ve decided to kill some time shopping for hot peppers. Stop laughing. I LOVE THIS CRAP! And I just discovered the Vienna Beef website, the geniuses who sell all those amazing condiments for Chicago-style hot dogs and Italian beef such as hot sport peppers, neon green relish and kick-ass giardiniera!

If you care, I just ordered four jars of hot giardiniera and four jars of the sport peppers. These are in addition to the six jars of Mezzetta California Hot Mix already on the way from Wal-Mart, which replaces the Mezzetta order from Amazon that UPS smashed to smithereens a couple of days ago. In case you’ve been following the story, Amazon refunded my money. (See previous post.) Even though only one jar was smashed I also had to throw out the remaining five due to teeny shards of broken glass that got embedded in all the labels and under the edges of all the lids. After cutting my hands three times I just gave up.

Wondering why I’m so damn addicted to all this great stuff? For the last couple of years I’ve been dealing with a TASTE DISORDER (i.e., dead taste buds) from diabetic nerve damage, and hot and spicy food is just about the only flavor profile that I can still enjoy except for grilled cheese, Coke Zero, braunschweiger, Beaver Brand deli mustard and chocolate.

Life is a challenge, people. We do the best we can.