Today has been a whirlwind of senior citizen excitement.

In this post: Rain, baloney, bargains, speedy meals.

I don’t believe it, people. IT RAINED HERE TODAY! As a matter of fact, it rained HARD for several consecutive hours and, as I write this post, I can still hear thunder somewhere in the distance. (It’s probably heading into Arkansas.) The following screenshot from Weather.com was taken about an hour ago. The big red star in the middle denotes Howdygram headquarters. Everything here is really, really wet right now.

Today has been a whirlwind of senior citizen excitement and I’d like to share my Saturday activities with you providing I can remember them all. Here goes ...

I ORDERED A BOOK FROM AMAZON. It’s Robert Wagner’s autobiography, Pieces of My Heart, and it cost me 8¢ for a used hardcover version in excellent condition. I could have purchased one in very good condition for 3¢ but I decided to splurge.

I ATE LUNCH. Baloney and American cheese on low-carb white toast with a bunch of cheap dill pickles. This was so damn good I might eat it again for dinner.

I TOOK A BIG FAT JUICY NAP. Actually, two big fat juicy naps.

I ORDERED AIR CONDITIONING FILTERS FOR SAM. I discovered a new website this afternoon — FactoryDirectFilters.com — with fine prices on filters for every brand of air conditioner known to civilized man. (I’m not sure which brands uncivilized man used because that was a long time ago.) I bought half a dozen 16" x 20" x 1" fluffy white filters for $20, which is $10 less than my last order from FiltersFast.com. Sam was so damn happy he needed an extra muffin to calm down.

I WATCHED TWO TERRIFIC MOVIES. These included The Kennel Murder Case (1932) with William Powell and The Maltese Falcon (1941) with Humphrey Bogart and Mary Astor. Truth be told I actually slept through both of them, but I didn’t care because I’ve seen them so many times I can recite the dialog. (This actually happens.)

It’s already 9:30 p.m., so maybe it might be a good time to wrap up this post and think about another meal. I’ve decided to skip the aforementioned repeat baloney sandwich in favor of homemade ham salad because I have 18 cans of Hormel smoked ham in mystery juice using up a lot of real estate in the pantry. In case you’re interested, I make a mighty tasty ham salad with two cans of smashed-up ham mixed with mayo and sugar-free relish. This is a lovely low-carb dream meal and one of my all-time favorites when I’m in a hurry and there’s no braunschweiger.

Thank you for reading this!