Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Oscar Pistorius is a douchebag and other important things for Tuesday.

In this post: New red, important things.

I don’t know if you’ve noticed or not, but as of 3:45 Monday afternoon — and for no apparent reason whatsoever — I started using A DIFFERENT SHADE OF RED for the Howdygram’s accent color! Although I’m pretty sure nobody except me gives a crap about this, in case you can’t tell the difference (or don’t know what I’m talking about) the following example will absolutely knock your socks off:

You can see my new red in action in the sidebar titles, various graphics, my post signature and when you hover over a post headline or a link. This is a lot like wearing new lipstick except it’s free and doesn’t get on your teeth. Thank you for putting up with me.

The following is a list of VERY IMPORTANT THINGS you need to know today!
  • The Grout Doctor will be here at 8 to recaulk and regrout the shower in our master bathroom. I’m only mentioning this in case you forgot.
  • Malaysia Airlines flight 370 has officially been declared kaput 17 days after it went missing somewhere in a very large body of water on planet earth. The Chinese are having a stroke and believe that marching on the Malaysian embassy will magically result in a different outcome, such as everybody being found alive in the basement eating pizza.
  • Tiger Woods has a backache and might miss The Masters in April. 
  • My new Wal-Mart toaster oven is being delivered today.
  • Three shmucks with parachutes jumped off the World Trade Center in New York.
  • Oscar Pistorius is a douchebag and Reeva Steenkamp’s text messages prove it.
  • We have a 30% chance of severe thunderstorms on Thursday and Weather.com is using boldface orange type to scare the crap out of us.
And now, at last, I should go to bed because it’s 3:30 in the morning and I can’t think of any other crap to write about. Thank you for reading this.

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