Wednesday, March 5, 2014

I’ll probably never spend any actual money again on fonts for the rest of my life.

In this post: Changes, spring rolls, mustard-mania.

Know what? I just realized there have been THREE BIG FAT CHANGES at Howdygram headquarters since I retired last June and discontinued my web design/graphic design business. (Ovation Creative, remember?)

BIG FAT CHANGE #1. I finally unsubscribed from all the email ads I used to receive from websites that charge for their fonts (,, and because: 1) I currently have millions of fonts residing on my Mac; 2) I don’t give a damn about trends, typography revivals or adventures in letterspacing; and 3) I’ll probably never spend any actual money again on fonts for the rest of my life.

BIG FAT CHANGE #2. I also unsubscribed from’s endless emails. I already own a few thousand gigabytes of their fancy graphics and photos from past years and it’s not likely that a senior citizen retiree such as yours truly will ever have a reason to sign up for more. Shutterstock charges a “holy-crap” rate of $249 for 30 days of downloads, 25 images a day. Plus these people are pests.

BIG FAT CHANGE #3. Please don’t hate me for this, but I’m really sick and tired of my 12 remaining website clients. I try to get them to go away — by ignoring them, mostly — but they apparently all like me too much to quit so I’ll just have to hope they end up in jail, suffer catastrophic business reversals or get run over by snowplows. As I said, don’t hate me. (Thank you.)

Tonight for dinner I’ve decided to eat a few of the new Shrimp Spring Rolls that Schwan’s delivered this morning. They come with little packets of sauce that are (unfortunately) loaded with sugar, so I’ll just use the tasty low-carb version of Thai chili pepper sauce that I buy from plus some homemade Chinese hot mustard.
Hey. If you’re a Chinese mustard fan like I am you don’t EVER want to eat the tastless crap you get in plastic packets with your take-out order. MAKE YOUR OWN DAMN MUSTARD, PEOPLE. All you need is a heaping teaspoon of Oriental Hot Mustard powder in a little dish, and then stir in tap water a teaspoon at a time until you get your favorite consistency. This stuff tastes great and will clear your sinuses in less than 15 seconds. (You can buy the powder from Amazon.)

Pass the soy sauce.

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