Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Sam and I have the same nickname. We’re a couple of Noonies.

In this post: Noonies, tipping, sociopaths-in-training.

It’s 6:45 a.m., I’m alone in the study and my stomach is talking to me again. It sounds exactly like Sam. A few minutes ago I thought it said “Hi Noonie” — which is the way Sam greets me first thing in the morning — so I responded back “Hi Noonie” before I realized that Sam is still asleep. In case you’re wondering, yes, Sam and I have the same nickname. We’re a couple of Noonies.

Is this really as insane as it sounds? I’m a little freaked out right now. Holy crap.

So here’s what’s happening this week at Howdygram headquarters: 1) a lot of laundry; 2) our HVAC guy is coming over on Friday to make sure the air conditioning is in good shape for the another blistering Texas summer; and 3) I think that’s it. We’re still waiting for the contractor from Lowe’s to set up a time to install our new water heater. Hold a good thought, okay? We’d like to have the damn thing up and running before Christmas.

A couple of unrelated things. First, in case you’ve ever been troubled about how much to tip the dude who delivers your large pan pizza with extra pepperoni, here’s a useful website for your possible interest: They even include an automatic calculator in case you’re arithmetic-challenged or visiting from another planet plus helpful instructions about not holding your pizza box vertically, don’t try to pay with a bag of coins and try not to be in the bathtub when the driver arrives. Seriously.

Second, here’s a YouTube video clip featuring an annoying yet hilariously cute three-year-old sociopath-in-training named Mateo who’s trying to make a case for cupcakes for dinner.

I also have a brand new Putz of the Week but I’ll have to include it next time. At the moment I’m cold, I’m hungry, and I have to clean up the kitchen because my maid is coming today (don’t ask). Thank you.

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