Tuesday, December 17, 2013

In the early stages of hypoglycemia it’s a lot like being inebriated.

In this post: Hypoglycemia, Internet groceries.

I woke up half an hour ago in the middle of low blood sugar episode. I can always tell what’s going on even if I’m still half asleep because all of a sudden my knees don’t hurt, which is due to my brain powering down from a serious lack of glucose. This is not a wholly unpleasant feeling, mind you. In the early stages of hypoglycemia it’s a lot like being inebriated. Unfortunately, in the later stages it’s a lot like being a cadaver. I guess you can’t have everything.

I just received a happy pre-dawn surprise from my best friends at Amazon. They shipped part of my monthly Subscribe & Save crap via UPS last night from their Fort Worth distribution center and delivery is scheduled for TODAY. This is so swell I can’t stand it. NEXT-DAY DELIVERY! Expected in my happy Tuesday shipment are: 1) a box of Hi-Lo low-carb vanilla almond cereal; 2) a case of Swanson Chicken à la King; 3) a case of Swanson Chicken & Dumplings; and 4) a foaming soap dispenser. That last item, incidentally, is not part of my Subscribe & Save plan. I ordered it separately and Amazon decided to throw it in with everything else.
In case you’re wondering, I buy groceries online because I’m a senior citizen with mobility issues and haven’t actually set foot inside a supermarket for years. Once or twice a month I send Sam to the store with an uncomplicated short list for basic crap we can’t order on the Internet, such as eggs, margarine, cheese, Cool Whip, Jimmy Dean brown & serve sausage thingies and a few bagels. (Also pie. Sam loves pie.)

I’m thinking it might be a fine idea to go back to bed for a while. Thank you for reading this.

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