Thursday, December 26, 2013

Mazel tov to creepy Edward Snowden. Hope you’re enjoying your first Russian winter.

In this post: The Great Pizza War, a retirement milestone, Snowden’s accomplishment.

I forgot to include an important issue in my post earlier today: OUR LOCAL PIZZA HUT WAS CLOSED ON CHRISTMAS EVE. Closed! Therefore I would appreciate a considered explanation of Pizza Hut’s corporate policy and/or a FORMAL APOLOGY regarding why these yokels refused to make a thin crust with extra cheese for the only Jewish residents of Mesquite, Texas. I consider this an outrage! This is politically incorrect! PIZZA HUT IS AT WAR WITH JEWS IN TEXAS! Thank you, have a nice day and oy.

I’ve got some breaking news from our I’m Almost A Completely Retired Senior Citizen department! About 30 minutes ago I called my web hosting company and canceled my long-standing business website ( and a client’s website because she’s closing her business at the end of December. Then I deleted my two Ovation Creative email accounts. This actually feels so amazing I might have to find a way to celebrate. Oooh, I know! I’LL HAVE A BRAUNSCHWEIGER FESTIVAL!

And now to explain why I hate sneaky little Edward Snowden, who announced to the world on Christmas Eve that his “mission is accomplished.” Really, Ed? Freezing your testicles in Russia was a mission?
Apparently the creepy little traitor, pictured above, recently sat down for an interview with the Washington Post’s Barton Gellman. Snowden announced, “I already won” and “Remember, I didn’t want to change society. I wanted to give society a chance to determine if it should change itself. All I wanted was for the public to be able to have a say in how they are governed.”
WTF. Snowden actually considers himself a FOLK HERO for stealing classified information and turning it over to China? Believe what you want, but if there was anything even remotely noble about Edward Snowden he would have stayed in the United States and accepted whatever the government decided to give him. Instead, he’s sitting in Putin’s Russia thinking he won something. Snowden is pathetic.

Look people. Even if the NSA didn’t exist, do you have any idea how much of your personal data is online, anyway? From shopping habits, search results, comments, chat rooms, text messages, photo sharing, website cookies, online questionnaires, and all that unceasing, intensely personal horseshit that people post voluntarily 24/7 on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Linked In ... THERE IS NO PRIVACY. None. We gave it all away years ago. Snowden accomplished NOTHING. He’s just a homesick narcissist who’s suffering through his first Russian winter, pretending to enjoy all the transparency and freedom that Russia has to offer. Go suck on a bottle of vodka, Ed.

General question: Who the hell is paying to support this guy?

I guess I’m done now. Thank you for putting up with my rant of the day.

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