In this post: The ongoing imaginary war on Christmas.
Happy Tuesday, people! I’m here to make good on the promise in my last post by introducing the Howdygram’s latest Putz of the Week honoree. Meet Congressman Doug Lamborn of Colorado, another religious Republican manure-for-brains fighting back against the imaginary war on Christmas. With a comb-over, no less.
Lamborn explained, “House Resolution 448 is a bipartisan resolution to protect Christmas. It says that we should, as a country, protect the symbols and traditions of Christmas and not put up with any attempts to ban the symbols and traditions of Christmas.” Lamborn’s bill would protect Nativity scenes and singing Christmas carols in public places. It would also ensure that people have the ability to say the word “Christmas.” He added, “We need to have more tolerance of the diversity and pluralism of our society.”
Although Lamborn attempted to support “diversity and pluralism” during his Fox & Friends interview, he neglected to mention it in H.R. 448, which makes no effort whatsoever to protect any holiday except Christmas or recognize any other faith.
Are we shocked?
Congress can’t pass an infrastructure bill, a farm bill, create jobs, protect food stamps or extend unemployment benefits, but they’ve got the gall to sponsor horseshit like THIS.
Lamborn is apparently convinced that Christmas is now illegal, that churches are forbidden from erecting Nativity scenes and worshippers are shot for singing “O Little Town of Jingle Bells” with candy canes swinging from their ears. I’m so relieved that, after centuries of fear, persecution and oppression, Christians in America will finally be able to inflate their plastic Santas without being dragged to concentration camps.
I’m really upset. I think I need a Russell Stover sugar-free marshmallow pagan elf.