In this post: Recalls, a Wal-Mart addiction, Vienna sausages.
Amazon Product Safety Team with news that Abbott has recalled a bunch of their popular FreeStyle Lite glucose test strips due to lousy results when used with older-model FreeStyle blood glucose meters. So far I’ve received six emails (one for each purchase, I guess) except none of this actually applies to me because I don’t have an older-model meter. Also because I used up those test strips at least nine months ago.
It seems that Cantrell was in the checkout lane with newspaper circulars trying to get the cashier to okay price-matching on a cart full of Christmas ornaments — easily the most aggravating behavior on earth, especially if you’re standing behind a clown like this — when he wound up in handcuffs and slapped with a restraining order to STAY AWAY FROM WAL-MART FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE. Cantrell, an unemployed former pro wrestler who’s now on disability, is devastated because he loves Wal-Mart and has been shopping at his local store twice a day for as long as he can remember. Deputies escorted him from the store in tears.
“Twice a day” are the key words here, people. Who the hell shops at Wal-Mart TWICE A DAY? And what the hell is he BUYING? I mean, how much crap does this dude really need, especially if he’s unemployed? Is shopping at Wal-Mart his TOTAL LIFE? Is he MARRIED? Is he on DRUGS? Are his friends planning an INTERVENTION? Does he need STATE-FUNDED MENTAL HEALTH SERVICES? Can you be legitimately disabled and still stand in line at Wal-Mart twice a day? Do you think there’s a case here for DISABILITY FRAUD?
All of a sudden I have no idea where this outburst is headed. I think I need a can of Vienna sausages — and an excellent segue — to help calm me down.