Nothing says “Happy Birthday Baby Jesus” like an outrageous waste of electricity.

In this post: Kvetching, raining, laundry and lights.

I’ve got another kvetch report to share in conjunction with my standard list of ongoing complaints that includes shitty knees, shitty feet and a terrifyingly low body temperature. Now I can add SHOULDER PAIN ever since I woke up yesterday with a really sore right shoulder like I just pitched an extra-inning baseball game. Ow, damn it.

Know what? We had sunshine today. SUNSHINE, people! We hadn’t seen the sun here for at least a week and it was glorious. Too bad the lying sacks of poo at Weather.com are forecasting ALL-DAY RAIN for tomorrow, although I’ll believe it when I see it. They’re not called “lying sacks of poo” for nothing, you know.

Incidentally, sorry about all the noise in the background. I’m doing laundry. I’ve got bath towels in the dryer and a second load of dark knitty things in the washing machine. Next up is a half-ton of white socks. I’m hosting a folding party Friday night if you’d like to stop by for canned Vienna sausages, soy milk and a Joan Crawford movie. Reserve your spot now, okay?

Sam and I have decided to check out some fancy-schmancy Christmas displays this weekend because nothing says “Happy Birthday Baby Jesus” like an outrageous waste of electricity. Three of the jazziest displays — according to the Dallas Morning News — are the Deerfield subdivision in Plano (see photos below), the snooty Highland Park neighborhood in Dallas starting at Armstrong Parkway and Preston Road, and downtown Farmer’s Branch WITH A REAL SANTA!

In case you give a crap here’s an area map that includes all of the aforementioned Christmas displays: A) Howdygram headquarters in Mesquite; B) the Deerfield subdivision in Plano; C) Highland Park; and D) downtown Farmer’s Branch starring you-know-who.

And now I think I’ll mosey into the family room for a Marcytini, a movie and pistachios. Thank you for reading this.