I’ve never tap-danced in my entire life.

In this post: Frozen solid, couch picnic essentials.

I’m almost too cold right now to type the word “hypothermia” because my body temperature is 94.8° AND I’M SHAKING. It doesn’t seem to matter that the house is 72° inside and I’m wearing the warmest fluffy robe I own. Holy crap, people. This really sucks. And in case you’re wondering what the hell is going on, my low body temperature issue is one of the many symptoms of diabetic autonomic neuropathy, where nerve damage sends wrong signals to (and from) the brain. This is also why I get lightheaded, short of breath, lose my balance, have difficulty swallowing and had to stop tap-dancing. (I might be kidding about tap-dancing. I’ve never tap-danced in my entire life.)

As I write this post Sam is at Costco loading up on essentials for our two-day holiday “couch picnic.” I’m not exactly sure what’s in his cart at this point, but it’s probably safe to assume that he’s got a sack of our favorite pistachios, teeny chicken tacos, breakfast burritos, sushi (for me), two bags of bagels, Brownie Brittle and one dozen oversized bakery muffins in assorted flavors. I can eat almost NONE of this excellent crap due to having diabetes. Fortunately, Sam lets me watch.

I’ll be back later with more breaking news and the Howdygram’s latest Putz of the Week honoree. Thank you.