Monday, October 7, 2013

Constitution-loving truckers are descending on Washington. Holy crap.

In this post: Constitutional truckers, braunschweiger.

God bless idiot zealots. They sure know how to have a good time! Just when you thought the festivities in Washington couldn’t be more exciting, let’s pause to consider a Friday rally that’s planned inside the beltway called “Truckers Ride for the Constitution,” where a cavalcade of semi trailers led by Georgia trucker Earl Conlon, pictured at left, and a former country singer named Zeeda Andrews will converge on the Capitol to arrest legislators and put them in handcuffs. And not just any legislators, mind you … they’re specifically targeting Nancy Pelosi, Diane Feinstein and President Obama for “funding al-Quaeda” and “committing treason against the Constitution.” (They’re also really pissed about the cost of deisel and a variety of other “trucker frustrations,” most of which wouldn’t be an issue at all if they’d join the Teamsters rather than drive for small-time anti-union operators who screw them out of wages, benefits and pension. I’m just saying.)

Constitution-loving Conlon said his plans to storm Congress are “nice and peaceful” for the time being but suggests that he’s well prepared to use force if he has to. “If they decide to get ugly with us we’re going to do what we have to do,” he told U.S. News.

What could possibly go wrong? Only time will tell, but I’d say there’s a better chance of Earl Conlon being beaten to a pulp by the Washington police, who are NOT the guys I’d be screwing with right now.

There’s not much happening here at Howdygram headquarters tonight. I’ve had more than my share of naps but not enough food, which I’ll remedy shortly in the form of a great big braunschweiger sandwich on low-carb toast, sugar-free sweet pickles and vanilla soy milk. For dessert I’m considering gefilte fish or the last hunk of yesterday’s chocolate pound cake. (Oh, what the hell. I’ll have both.)

Thank you for reading this.

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