Yup. A secret race of lizard people runs the world.

In this post: Crackpots, conspiracies, teeny egg rolls.

On Monday I posted about the “Truckers Ride for the Constitution” protest/rally/convoy heading to Washington, D.C., this week to be stupid, block traffic and arrest several Congressmen and President Obama for treason. Yesterday the group’s organizer, Earl Conlon, admitted it was all bullshit from the start and just a hoax to irritate the “mainstream media.” However rival organizer and former country singer Zeeda “Einstein” Andrews has claimed exactly the opposite and promises the protest is moving forward as originally planned. Andrews was interviewed this morning by Louisiana radio station WAFB, where she revealed that Truckers Ride for the Constitution has “warring factions” like the Hatfields and McCoys and says that Earl Conlon is a phony, a jackass and a pretender. “Earl has never been authorized as a spokesperson,” Andrews told WAFB. “As a matter of fact, he’s not even riding in the convoy.” It seems that Zeeda Andrews is a roadkill stew of right-wing hysteria, Islamophobia and crackpot conspiracy theories.

For example, she’s a rabid fan of two 9/11 conspiracy theory documentaries: 1) a film that proves the United States government is secretly injecting aluminum into the atmosphere to block the sun’s rays; and 2) another that’s based on the lectures of British idiot David Icke, who believes a secret race of lizard people runs the world. I couldn’t make this up.

But wait … there’s more! According to one of her YouTube comments earlier this year about a video on the Benghazi attack, she apparently has developed a theory that President Obama is actually Osama bin Laden. She’s analyzed their EARS, they have the same bone structure, they’re both left-handed and the CIA has been preparing for this since Barack Obama was a little boy. Her favorite rallying cry: “Do your research!”

Right-wing extremist radio host Peter Santilli, whose name also has popped up as a spokesperson for the trucker event, is a 9/11 conspiracy theorist as well. He made news a few months ago for ranting that Hillary Clinton should be “shot in the vagina” for treason, and now he’s vowing that the truckers “will defend our nation to the absolute death.” Yeah, but whose?

Holy mother of crap. Where the hell do these Einsteins come from?

There’s not much going on here tonight so I think I’ll finish up what’s left of my Chinese food from dinner — Hunan Shrimp! two teeny egg rolls! — and enjoy tonight’s episode of “Top Chef” until I’m too tired to keep my eyes open. Thank you for reading this and pass the soy sauce.