Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Wanted: A haircut, wintergreen TicTacs and a winning lottery ticket so Sam can stop working.

In this post: Kvetch report, hating Congress, new faces.

Once again I am awake in the middle of the night with burning hot hands and feet — plus stabbing pain and spazzy “electric” shocks — due to peripheral neuropathy. I’ve been back to bed three times since 1 a.m. and finally wound up on the chaise in the family room because sometimes the weight of an ordinary bedsheet is just too much for me. Unfortunately, tonight even the chaise didn’t work out. I’m exhausted, annoyed and miserable. Damn it, people ... I need sleep but I can’t get comfortable!

In case you’re interested, any or all of the following items would make me feel better FAST because I love presents.
  • A day at the Choctaw Casino in Oklahoma including the lunch buffet with pea salad, meatballs and sugar-free pie.
  • A haircut.
  • A servant to do laundry for me even though I always enjoy folding Sam’s socks.
  • A Slim-Jim and a glass of Coke Zero with nine ice cubes. (I’m too lazy to walk into the kitchen.)
  • A winning lottery ticket so Sam can stop working.
  • A new night light for the hall.
  • A lifetime supply of LC Foods’ Low-Carb White Bread Mix.
  • Ink cartridges for my Epson WorkForce 635 printer.
  • New shoe racks.
  • New shoes.
  • Wintergreen TicTacs.
  • A nice big bottle of Estee Lauter Sensuous Noir perfume so I can smell better when I write Howdygram posts in the middle of the night. 
  • Fall weather.
It’s 5:30 a.m. I’m still wide awake and open for business but the United States government is CLOSED. You know what? I hope the backlash from this horseshit RUINS every one of those arrogant, idiot teabaggers in Congress. There was a news report last night that all of them were drunk at their desks and partying like it was New Year’s Eve because they decided to yank coverage for women’s birth control from the Affordable Care Act. Do they seriously think their wives and daughters don’t use contraceptives? ARE THESE PEOPLE INSANE? What an embarrassing, disrespectful bunch of misogynists. I can’t write about this any more or I’ll get hysterical. Holy crap.
Switching gears, here are my five latest new fonts for those of you who care about this kind of baloney. I haven’t downloaded many new fonts during the last few weeks for a couple of excellent reasons: 1) I already own nearly every font ever invented; and 2) as a retired senior citizen I don’t really need any more, anyway. I should start collecting pill sorters or foot cream samples instead.
I wish I could wake Sam to keep me company. Or better yet, maybe I should just try going back to bed again to keep HIM company.

It’s always something, isn’t it?

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