Note to Congressman Pete Sessions: Next election I look forward to ending your obvious misery.

In this post: Birthday clubs, casino scooters, vindictive old white men.

This, dear friends, is always my favorite time of year. Because I painstakingly remembered to sign myself up for all kinds of valuable “birthday clubs”: 1) stores, websites and restaurants are drowning me with emails and coupons for discounts, free shipping and piles of free food I can’t eat; 2) my dentist sent a postcard for free teeth-whitening (what a comedian; I wear dentures); and 3) and a scam outfit called Lake Pointe Advisory Group has invited me to a free senior citizen seminar so I can “learn to protect your retirement wealth.” (Here’s a thought ... if I don’t go, I can protect it from THEM.)

But even better than free food and shipping, I just reserved a senior citizen power scooter for my happy birthday excursion to the Choctaw Casino on November 2, where Sam and I will enjoy the penny slots and their buffet with sugar-free pie, pea salad and very good meatballs. Incidentally, I did my power scooter reservation online (the casino has excellent scooters) with Brandon, the casino’s customer service superstar. I always have a lot of birthday fun at the Choctaw because Sam and Brandon guarantee it.

Here’s some breaking news from the Howdygram’s Holy Crap, I Just Grew a Pair of Balls department. Whenever I receive a whiny newsletter from our idiot right-wing representative in Washington, D.C. — Congressman Pete Sessions, pictured left — I fire back a terse email response telling him why he’s wrong. Today, though, I pushed it a little farther along after he continued to harp about “ObamaCare.” Check it out:

You just don’t give up, do you? There’s nothing whatsoever wrong with the Affordable Care Act, congressman, because website glitches do not equate to problems with the law itself. More than half a million Americans have already signed up successfully for affordable health care plans. Premiums are NOT higher and NO JOBS ARE BEING LOST. If you'd stop drinking the GOP Kool-Aid and talk to real citizens who are buying low-cost health insurance for the first time in their lives, you might find out what we REALLY want. The Republicans are a party of frustrated, vindictive old white men. Next election I look forward to ending your obvious misery.

Other activities today included eating lunch with Sam, a two-hour nap and ordering the following essentials from Netrition.com.

In case you hear a little noise in the background I’m doing several loads of laundry today. Robes and sweatshirts first; socks and underwear next. There’s a folding party planned for 7 p.m. so please send an email right away if you’re interested. I’ll even order in from China City to sweeten the deal. Thank you.