Howdygram headquarters is a tidy suburban oasis that’s the envy of every Bubba in Texas.

In this post: Familiar tourists, Add-a-Sam, skip the corn dogs.

Our landscapers are here. They’re mowing, whacking and edging Howdygram headquarters into a tidy suburban oasis that’s the envy of every Bubba in Texas. Okay, fine, I might be exaggerating a little, but our lawn definitely looks ABSOLUTELY SWELL this afternoon. God bless the friendly dudes at Just Lawns.

Some late-breaking news from our How To See Europe On Less Than $10 A Day department! Sam’s brother and sister-in-law are vacationing in Italy and sent an email last night with a photo of them posing at the Coliseum. I immediately Photoshopped a happy, waving Sam into the picture and emailed it right back to them with the caption you see below.

Incidentally, we hope you’ll consider the Howdygram’s popular “ADD-A-SAM” program, where we’ll Photoshop the Sam* of your choice (see options below) onto all of your treasured family vacation photos ... for one convenient low price. Imagine the possibilities! Operators are standing by to take your call, or send us an email for complete details.

In case you’re interested I’d like to offer a product review of the Schwan’s Corn Dogs that were delivered this morning. One word: MEH.

Although you won’t necessarily want to spit them out or anything, I think Foster Farms corn dogs from the grocery store are better than Schwan’s. Even Sam didn’t get excited about these, and you know you’re making a shitty corn dog if you don’t get a thumbs-up from Sam. He says Schwan’s Bagel Dogs are tastier. I’ll bet that’s because they’re actually made with “smoky link” things instead of ordinary hot dogs and have CHEESE inside. I wonder how they get the cheese in there. It’s another 21st century marvel!

I think I’d better eat dinner now because my blood sugar is getting low and it’s almost 8 p.m. And ... IT’S BRAUNSCHWEIGER NIGHT!