Immersed in my favorite activity whenever I’m wide awake in the middle of the night.

In this post: Sucking TicTacs, studying Royals, breaking records.

It’s 6:30 in the morning and I’ve been awake since 4. Aside from sucking TicTacs and playing video poker, I am immersed in my favorite activity whenever I’m wide awake in the middle of the night ... visiting the royal family’s official website at www.royal.gov.uk. There are lots of lovely photos of rich people doing things, such as this image of the Queen signing a royal message to stuff into The Queen’s Baton (picture a fancy bedazzled suppository) that will travel all around Britain in a carriage before arriving in Glasgow for the Commonwealth Games. Fun fact ... the Queen has worn her hair like this since 1960.

You can also look up EVERYTHING ABOUT EVERYBODY in the history of the monarchy, dating all the way back to Egbert, King of Wessex, in 802 A.D., and all of Egbert’s worthy descendants. Some of these were (including the first year of their reign) Ethelwulf (839), Ethelbald (856), Athelstan (924), Edward the Martyr (975), Ethelred the Unready (979), Hardicanute (1035) and Harold II (1066). For the record, Edward the Martyr was hacked up by eager supporters of his “unready” half-brother Ethelred, who was only seven years old and not especially bright for his age.  And I’ll bet you thought the royals were boring. They’re NOT. And to prove it, here’s Princess Anne doing something important.

Hey people, in case you haven’t been keeping track, I’m very close to breaking the record for the most number of Howdygram posts in a single month! The record (so far) was 54 posts back in December 2011. Right now I’m at 49 for the month of October and still counting. Can you stand the excitement? I can’t, and it’s wearing me out. Maybe I should go back to bed and annoy Sam for a while. Thank you for reading this. Kiss the folks for me.