I can’t believe Michelle Duggar still has fallopian tubes.

In this post: Retirement, overpopulation, assorted crapola.

I have nothing to do. Seriously. NOTHING. It’s midnight and I’ve already taken a nice shower, eaten more than enough food, written several decent Howdygram posts, called Sam in California to say goodnight, refilled my seven-day pill sorter, injected a bunch of insulin and unmade the bed. I guess I’ll just sit here and annoy you until I can’t keep my eyes open any more. Please let me know when enough is enough, okay? A simple email will suffice.

I hit another retirement milestone today. A long-time client in Colorado asked if I could design a logo for her new non-profit organization and I said ABSOLUTELY NOT. This was the thrill of a lifetime and I can hardly wait to do it again. Often.

Here’s a demented news item from our I Can’t Believe She Still Has Fallopian Tubes department. Michelle Duggar, the obsessed 47-year-old reality TV incubator with 19 children whose names all start with the letter “J,” announced today that she and her husband Jim Bob can’t wait to try for number 20. These people are insane. (I love her hair, don’t you?)

And finally, a public service from the Howdygram Household Hints team! Here’s an instructional video courtesy of Foodbeast.com that demonstrates how to cut up different kinds of food using unflavored dental floss. I’m not sure why anybody would want to do something as stupid as this, but in case you ever cater a dinner and forget to bring a few knives it’s a comfort to know nobody will starve to death.

Night-night. I’m pooped.