Sunday, October 6, 2013

We’re actually watching a political minority attempt to overthrow the United States government.

In this post: Accidental dessert, more GOP bullshit. 

It occurs to me that I write a lot more Howdygram posts when Sam is out of town because I don’t have to waste time interacting with another human being. I can just sit at my desk between meals and let the horseshit soar into cyberspace! Is this fun, or what?

Mazel tov to me, everybody ... I turned lemons into lemonade tonight! Or in my case, a pound cake failure into “molten lava.” Today’s collapsed chocolate pound cake (see previous post) wasn’t quite as mooshy as last week’s and actually became a surprisingly yummy accidental dessert resembling that intensely popular molten lava hoo-hah you get in restaurants. I even smooshed some low-carb pineapple preserves on top and thoroughly enjoyed every decadent, sugar-free bite. I’d be happy to share the recipe except I have no idea whatsoever how I continue screwing it up. What the hell.

Mind if I get serious for a minute and talk politics? (Good. Thank you.) Since the start of the government shutdown six days ago a small group of extremist Republicans has dictated the agenda for the rest of their party by steering them into a prolonged and unwinnable battle to defund Obamacare. The cause of this “rule by minority” is absolutely clear: it’s the 2010 Citizens United v. Federal Election Commission Supreme Court decision.

This case not only made radical changes to campaign financing but has altered how a political party decides its priorities. Rather than depend on polling its constituents, endless spending by the billionaire Koch brothers (unleashed by the Citizens United decision) has given the Republicans in Congress two options: either vote to defund Obamacare or we’ll make sure you lose the next election.

If this sounds frightening, it is. It’s called sedition. We’re actually watching a political minority attempt to overthrow the United States government, and the fact that they’re having any measure of success should scare the living crap out of us.

Regardless, by now I think we can all admit that the Republicans are the Titanic of political parties, drowning themselves in stupidity one humiliating gaffe at a time. At the recent GOP convention held in Anaheim, California, a neanderthal button-maker expressed the party’s best (and possibly only) strategy for attracting more female voters: Hey, let’s insult Hillary Clinton — the most prominent and well-respected woman in politics on either side of the aisle — for the shape of her body!
The GOP sinks deeper into irrelevance every single day and their next convention will probably be held in somebody’s family room with a twelve-pack of Bud.

I need a distraction. I need more cake.

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