Friday, October 11, 2013

I tried to take a picture of my thumb lump but I can’t operate the camera with my crippled left hand.

In this post: Kvetch report, free food.

When you have arthritis like moi a forecast of rain is a forecast of PAIN. And right now I’ve got pain in spades. My joints are so stiff tonight I almost can’t move at all. A hot shower hasn’t helped and neither has vanilla soy milk with sugar-free sweet pickles — my number one favorite “go-to” snack when I’m feeling crabby or miserable. Even my hands hurt today. The fingers on my left hand all feel like they’re broken and I’ve got a huge lump on my right thumb that actually BURNS. I tried to take a picture of it for you but I can’t operate the camera with my crippled left hand. This sucks.

Here’s what’s on my agenda for the rest of tonight: 1) watching “Real Time with Bill Maher” on HBO; 2) consuming a large quantity of pickles and soy milk; and 3) I can’t think of anything else. Obviously Howdygram headquarters experiences a serious shortage of excitement and intellectual stimulation when Sam’s out of town. This will be remedied on Sunday, thank God.

Attention foodies! Apparently because nobody wants them, Burger King has decided to give away their new reduced fat, reduced calorie, tasteless cardboard “Satisfries,” one value-size order per person, at participating restaurants this weekend only. That’s Saturday, October 12, and Sunday, October 13. Bring the kids! Bring grandma!
I think that’s probably enough entertainment for one night. It’s time to shlep into the family room for additional food and a little TV. Thank you for stopping by tonight. Say hi to the relatives for me, okay?

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